RJ Scott, V.L.Locey ”Save the date”

This is a novella in Harrisburg Railers series. So, if you are a fan of hockey and these series – you can’t miss this little story. If you haven’t read the series – star with that and then read Save the date. It’s not so much because without series you wouldn’t enjoy this one, but more because – what happens before, leads to this. Better to get to know Jared and Tennant before this, see what they have been through. And also – to get to know their best friends 🙂

“Just when you think you’re over the jitters, the wedding planner reminds you that everyone and their poodle will be watching…” 

First book in these series was about Jared and Tennant. And now – last one(at least now on goodreads this shows as the last one)is about them again. And title says it all – we are all invited to the wedding. And that means, that we are here for a beautiful wedding and meeting all the railers couples we know from other books. Of course not all happens like planned but that’s normal. That’s just a part of wedding and preparing for wedding. Most important thing is – they got married and will live happily ever after. There is no side dramas and big side plots. It’s all about wedding and preparing to that. And that includes planning, and bachelor party, stress and other things. It’s easy to read story and you don’t have to be afraid that something really bad will happen to characters or this will be a dark story. No. Not this one.

There is not much i can say, because it is a novella, short story and i don’t want to spoil everything. I can just say that it’s fun, sweet, sexy and a bit emotional too. I got emotional at some parts, specially ceremony… I read almost all books from these series and i have my favorite couples. I was happy to meet them again and read about this wedding. If this really is the last story in these series – it’s really a beautiful way how to end things. First – it ends with the same couple as it started with. And second – it’s wedding story. Who doesn’t love a good wedding story which is full of love and positivity?

“Something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue.”

What can i say – fast paced story. Perfect read for summer day or evening. Beautiful vows and happy ending.

Garrett Leigh ”Kiss me again”

I’m excited every time i read somewhere that Garrett Leigh are writing a new book. And there was nothing different with this one – i was excited. I wasn’t sure where on my spectrum ”Kiss me again” will land – will it be on my golden shelf as one of my all time favorite GL books, or it will be a bit lower, where are her books that i like, but which are not(for me) to die for. Well… turned out that this one landed on gold shelf. Right next to Roads trilogy and Dream. Aidan and Ludo – i fell in love with them. Specially with Ludo.

Tree surgeon Aidan is a loner. He lives alone, works alone and just… is alone. Until accident lands him in hospital where he meets Ludo. Ludo is in hospital because he is bipolar, his mind keeps him awake and he has to get better before he can go out again. They become friends until their ways parts. But Aidan misses Ludo and how he made his life more interesting. Aidan has to recover from trauma, but Ludo is living with his own illness all his life. And it’s not gonna change. Aidan can kiss Ludo, but can he stay in his life when it’s all gets bad again?

”Kiss me again” is one of the calm GL books. By that i mean – there are no bad guys who are after one of the main characters, no one wants to hurt them or revenge about something etc. This is a story about relationship – how they meet, how they become friends an fall in love. This is a character and relationship story. It’s about cooking together, dealing with injuries and serious illness. It’s about friendly dog and Aiden’s ”it’s not my cat” cat. It’s about love and not leaving other when he really needs you. As always in her books, her characters deal with real problems. This time main focus is Ludo and him being bipolar and what happens in his mind etc. It was written well, with respect, felt real and without over the top dramatics.

“Aidan loves me and I love him, but that doesn’t mean we’ve healed each other. Pain is still real. Black is still black. The only difference is that we’re both still there at the end….”

This quote, which you just now read, is one of the reasons why i love Garrett’s books so much. She never ever shows love as magical cure to real illness. It’s never ”his love cured him” bullshit i’ve seen in other books by other authors, where love suddenly cures depression etc. I hate when they show love as this magical power and cure, because it is not true and not real. Love can’t cure real, serious illness. It can help fighting or give strength but it is not medication or stronger than medication. Ludo’s bipolarity didn’t go away just because Aidan loves him. He still has to take his medication, see doctor and be careful. I’m so, so thankful that Garrett always shows that you have to take your medication and be serious about it, and love will not make your illness go away. Why it’s important to show it in books? Because, there are a lot of people who already thinks that mental illness=bad mood—> so, just get over it. Specially, if that mental illness is depression. And we really don’t need bullshit books which gives impression that you just have to find a lover  and depression will be over. So, i’m thankful that Garrett never writes that. She is always serious and shows the reality, what does it mean to deal with illness, live with it etc.

”He’s stronger that he’ll ever believe. He’s my harness, and i love him.”

I loved this book. I loved Ludo. And i really, really hope that he will somehow meet his cousin(i will not give a spoiler about that). I’m really happy that he met Aidan. I can’t explain in words the feeling i had when i read this book. It was a bit sad in some moments, and then it was light and it gave me… feels? It wasn’t action book, it wasn’t book about hot sex or fighting with bad guys from past. This was… i want to say – tender love story? It was so light, so intimate in a way… I almost cried but for the love of God i can’t explain to you why… i just felt like it…. Okay, this was weird. Anyway – i recommend this. This is a beautiful story. And what can i say – love is when someone can see you are doing bad, without you yourself telling him that and he stays with you.

Michael Mandrake ”Love kills”

Okay… okay… so… how can i say this politely… i fucked myself up a bit. Don’t get me wrong – i’m a kinky soul. And i like to push my own boundaries when it comes to reading books. I like to read about things that in real life i wouldn’t try. Reading is my safe way how to peek behind the curtains without consequences or shame.  But this book kinda pushed my boundaries too much. I’m talking about ”Love kills” by Michael Mandrake. 

Holland has fantasies which others mostly can’t accept. But he continues to seek for that man who will fulfill his deepest desires. Archer is inspired and aroused by stories his boyfriend, detective tells him. Because there is something dark inside him. Clint is this detective and he kinda worries that Archer will find someone else… What could happen when all three of them meet? Archer meets Holland and Clint gets caught in their dark web too. And then there is that thing… when he has to choose between that love life, career and morality.

This book is crazy. All three of these men are crazy. But i read this book. Lines are not blurred… there is just a weird colored mess in the spot where lines should be. And if you are a reader who likes nice romances and baddest boy you have read about is – one who has leather jacket, motorcycle and habit to drink beer… this is so not the book for you. Because these three men are so dark and so out of typical bad boy/ dark character frame…  This book is for readers who don’t want borderlines or soft, good characters and are interested to read dark stories without any shame.

Again – don’t get me wrong, i was not under illusion that this book will be pink fluff about perfectly perfect men meeting in coffee shop and living their romance in fluffy clouds. No. But somehow this turned to be… darker than i expected. It was a bit like dark sin where i knew all that is wrong, and dark, and thanks to my vivid imagination, pushing my borderlines…. but i still didn’t put it down. I had to know how this ends. Partly, i blame the name – Archer. I call it my literary kink(made up term) – i really have a thing for character names. If author manages to choose the right ones – damn, i love it and can’t put the book down. One golden example is Angelo from Dream by Garrett Leigh. I loved the book itself, but that name was so, so spot on. And in this book – it was Archer. And he is not a good guy or nice guy. FAR from it(really far). But… he just wrapped me around his little finger just like ha did with both characters in book(or at least some moments it felt like he is just manipulating everything and everyone).

I’m actually glad that i read it. This book was playing with me. In my mind, somewhere i knew that i probably shouldn’t read it and how can i read it… and find it’s darkness interesting sometimes(like how characters are built… etc), but at the same time, i couldn’t just put it aside and go read something nice and fluffy.

Overall this book is twisted and dark. Like, if blood play makes your blood go cold… don’t read this. I’m just saying. I read it and even when it pushed my boundaries, i didn’t regret reading it. And i kinda applaud to author for creating these characters so fitting to the story. Because i’ve read some books which promises dark stories and twisted characters and then… delivers typical, cliché bad boys where baddest thing about them are tattoos and leather jacket. Big wow. In this book author actually delivers twisted characters. And does it in the plot which is interesting. If you are into darker read and blood, crime, twisted games doesn’t scare you..give this a try. This truly was something completely different from what i usually read and in a twisted way… it was interesting.

G.B.Gordon ”Match Grade”

This is my step to the dark side :D. Or something like that. Let’s talk about ”Match Grade” by G.B.Gordon. This book is part of the Criminal Delights series and can be read as standalone.

Eirik Haldurson is a hitman. He is trained from young age and now he is one of the best at what he does. He takes a job. Does it. And moves on to next one. It’s not like he could just start normal relationship. But then he decides to take his last job which is – to kill Matt Moreno. Matt is ex-soldier and also charming, smart and hot man. In a way, Eirik has met his match and walking the line starts. Job is to kill Matt, but would he really do it? Does he even wants to? But if not, then how to get out of the deal. When you are a hitman, it’s not like you can just easy walk away… This journey will not be boring. It’s sexy, dark, a bit fun and it’s definitely not just black and white.

When there is hitman, target, bad cartel… you just know that there will be action scenes. And you are not wrong. There are and those scenes, in my opinion, were written well and went with the plot great. I wasn’t sure how it all will go emotion vise, because if you are a hitman and trained from young age, you can’t just turn it all off and go all emo in one day. I was a bit unsure how it all will be, but it went fine enough. Yeah, there were some moments where i wasn’t convinced with Eirik and his actions, and for me they didn’t completely go with his hitman character. But… at the same time those moments didn’t bother me so much that i couldn’t enjoy the book. I liked Matt a bit more than Eirik(i blame Matt’s charm :D), but as a couple – they felt as really good match. Sometimes one character feels weaker than other, but not this time. And did i already told you that together they are hot? 😀

Oh… and then there was Cyrus. Who is he? Something very adorable and i loved him :D. Overall, it was entertaining, quick paced, had action and hot scenes. Great read. Some lines got blurred, but i think you can imagine that from the synopsis :). It’s not a very long story( it’s under 200 pages), so i don’t want to give it all away and tell exactly what happens. But i think you can understand the overall vibe of this book. So, if you are not interested in story with action, cartel and hitman-target meeting, this is not for you. But if you like it or just like books where lines gets blurred a bit(i heard this book is not as dark as other in these series. But i don’t know myself, because this is the first book i’ve read.), this could be for you :).

Garrett Leigh ”Jude”(Lucky #3)

We have story about Lukcy and Dom. Story about Rae and Cash. And now we have story about Isha(who we already know from book about Lucky and Dom) and Jude. Another interesting combination of professions: business and exotic pet shop. So, long story short – Garrett Leigh ”Jude”.

Isha is Dom’s friend and business partner. And it all starts with birthday party and visit to exotic pet shop, where he meets Jude. Both of them are single but no one makes the move at that meeting. So they part and life goes on. Kinda. Until they both meet again… not the way they expected to meet. Isha always wants to be in control over everything. Jude works too much and has too good of a heart. Jude has no time for other people crisis. Isha thinks that he just can’t mix ”his sex life” with his life as father of 2 children. But really – is it just sex between them anymore? At one point he has to understand that lines are crossed already and this time, maybe it is not that bad. Both of them has past and problems, but slowly they have to make a choice – if they want to keep facing the world alone or maybe together they can do everything.

I really enjoyed this book. Isha was not my fave in first book. But i warmed up to him now and i wanted him to be happy. I liked Jude from the first moment i met him in this book. He and his love for animals.  Also, still loved Lucky and Dom, and little glimpses of them. They own my heart. Of course i googled that white python and that is one cute looking snake :D. Seriously. It is so beautiful. And believe me, at one point i was thinking ”if Isha will not buy/adopt that snake at the end of the book, i will just cry” :D. I sent my husband pictures on whatsapp like ”aaawww, look, how cute that snake is”. I bet he was surprised because i’m scared of snakes.

”Isha wasn’t always an easy man to love, but neither was I, and together we fucking killed it.”

I liked how normal was relationship between Isha and his ex wife. It was very healthy and i liked it. Two grown-ups with children, handling relationship between themselves very well. I think i’m just tired of exes with over the top dramas. Very nice to read friendly relationship where things did not work out for them in marriage, but it doesn’t mean that they hate each other now or uses children in war against each other. I also like the children and that’s a rare thing for me. They were not annoying and stupid. I really liked how not bothered they were about their father having a boyfriend. I mean, in my country same sex couples get bad treatment and society in my country always screams about ”oh how bad it is for children to see two men together. oh, noooo. the horror, the trauma…. all children is so traumatized seeing it. Think about the children”. And here it is – two children really not bothered about it. And that feels more real than that stupid screaming about the traumas forever. If you normally tell children about love, freedom, happiness and life, no one is traumatized by the fact that they have father who has boyfriend(nice boyfriend who loves their father and cares about them).

One thing that i didn’t like was how Isha and Jude seemed to be unable to talk to each other like normal, grown up human beings. At one point i got tired of the fact that they just didn’t communicate. And when one of them tried to start talking five minutes in it just went to ”oh, well fuck it, i’m an ass so will not tell you anything”. It can work once. Twice. Because it is hard to try and talk to someone. But third time it was like – come on! I’m happy that none of them made up shit and lied to other. That is great, because i’m also tired of dramas which starts because someone lied.

Garrett Leigh is still one of my favorite authors. And overall i really liked this book. Looks like this is the last one in ”Lucky” series. And now when i’ve read all three, i can say that ”Lucky” is my favorite 100%. But ”Jude” comes in second place. And sorry, but it is not surprise(because i wrote whole post about it), ”Cash” just didn’t work for me. I did not connect with the couple so that one stays last. I suggest start reading these series from the first book. They are kinda stand alone because they are about different couples, but it is better if you know what happened before, so what happens in a background of the main couple, makes more sense. But anyway, i recommend these books. Specially ”Lucky” and ”Jude”. Very well written, realistic relationships, characters who are facing real problems and fighting for their happiness. Hot moments, funny moments, serious moments. It’s all there. I think you will not be disappointed :).

Garrett Leigh ”Lucky”

I think i read too many fluffy and easy read M/M books lately, because when i started to read this one, it was like slap in the face – dose of reality, that world is far from being all pink unicorns and sunsets. Also, this book once again showed me why i love books by Garrett Leigh. So, let’s talk about ”Lucky” by Garrett Leigh

Dom is professional football player who is living his life hiding part of himself. He has money, career, house, good looks but he constantly looks over his shoulder in fear that someone will find out his secret. He only allows that part of himself come out on rare occasions when he uses an app, meets a guy and gets a blowjob. Lucky is… not so lucky in life. He is homeless(staying with a friend from time to time doesn’t change that), without a job and he needs money so for the first time he decides to use Grindr app to hook up with a guy for money. That’s how he meets Dom and that slowly changes his life and Dom’s too. The question is – will they allow themselves to be happy…

I can remember only one other books with closeted character, which felt this real and made me this emotional(it was ”The Understatement of the year” by Sarina Bowen. And it was also a sports romance). I felt for Lucky too. Don’t get me wrong. His life was not easy and i was so, so happy when he found a job and his life started to slowly get better. I liked that he was strong. No matter what, he was strong and he was not willing to go into hiding to be with Dom or do some weird compromises. I totally understood that and i liked that he honestly said that to Dom too. But Dom was my baby in this book. When i was reading Dom’s POV… it hurt. I felt like i’m trapped and scared almost all the time. And sad, stressed out and it all just broke my heart. Just like he felt living his life. He was written so well and at the same time, with respect. He wasn’t over the top dramatic or messy, or cliché. He was… real. I can imagine him walking down the street, five feet from me. And i have no doubt that in this world are a lot of people who feel the same as he felt. It made me think, how damn unfair and sad it is, that we are living in year 2018 and still people have to go through this… have to hide part of themselves, have to choose to be themselves or to have a career.

This is a story about love, fear, finding your ground again, kinda starting over and making right choices which are not always easy and it takes courage to make them… but it’s worth it. Characters in this book are not perfect and that’s more than okay, because they feel very human this way. And for me that is the most important thing – that characters feel real. Also – as always in her books, there is no magic cure to problems. Just like in real life. You can get your life back on track, but it will take time and hard work. Also – for those who think, how is it possible that Dom was kinda famous football player but Lucky did not recognize him even when he saw his face in close up… well – it’s very real and possible. I mean, in real life i’m not interested in sports. I really, really don’t care about that. There is only one famous player who i know – Beckham. And i know who he is, how he looks and what he does, because he married Victoria. That’s it. M/M sports romances(which i like to read, because those books are not just about games and sports) are the closest i am and will be to rooting for any sports team :D. SO if you are not a die hard sports fan – it’s very possible to not know the players. And Lucky wasn’t the biggest football fan in the world.

”The axe forgets, but the tree remembers.”

I’ve read a lot of Garrett Leigh books(but not all) and of course i have my top favorites. Until this moment, those top favorites were: Roads series books, Dream and Heart. And now – Lucky too is on that gold shelf :). I’m very intrigued to read the next book. I saw a little glimpse of that in last pages of this book, so – can’t wait to read. I already fell in love with the name of the character. Again. I can feel that it will be the next ”Angelo situation” :D. Anyway, overall – i loved this book and i recommend this one, because Garrett Leigh is amazing and very talented.

Kat Cassidy ”Backstreets”

Well… this actually was fast and pretty good. LA crime families, fast cars, dark secrets and – badass women. The only thing is – two guys supposed to be the center point of this book, but i was more invested in Olivia(also called Liv). And Nina was pretty strong character too. So – Kat Cassidy ”Backstreets”. This book is second in Hot wire series and should be read after the first one(just to understand back stories etc).

First book ”Night moves” is where it all starts and without spoiling too much – where Nick and Peter meets. This book picks everything up about year later. Peter now has a legal job and his car stealing days are over. He is controlling himself and staying clean. And he is in a relationship with Nick, who has a daughter Mia and who is still thinking about his dead wife. Helena is everywhere in Nick’s house which is basically almost like a shrine to her, in his mind… and Peter feels like he has no room in Nick’s life. Like he is a plan B and never be even close to meaning to Nick as much as her. So they fight and then Nick’s daughter goes missing. And that means – Peter has to go back into the darkness and find out, which of LA’s criminal families has Mia. And – if his own ex, dark and addicting Stavros is involved in her kidnapping.

I will be honest – i did not feel the love. Peter’s situation actually reminded me again why i would never chose a man who has dead wife and a kid. I would go mental if i would have to live in dead wifes house, where her things are all around and i don’t even have a drawer while she still has the full closet(and she is dead more than a year). I couldn’t live in the perfect wife’s shadow all the time and always be a second choice because ”my man” is still emotionally too deep in his feelings towards her and probably will never get out of them and move on. That life is not for me. So i understood that Peter was hurt. Peter had so many problems himself. Oh hell, i’m not gonna pretend that he was perfect. Far from it. But still – Nick first needs to get over his dead wife, then decide that he really wants to move on and be in new relationship and only then try something with Peter. Because right now, even when Nick said that he loves Peter and wants him in his life, i didn’t feel it. So, that is just my personal opinion(not the premise of this book or writer’s opinion) – Nick was not over Helena and probably will never be. This quote just… hurt:

“I just want you to make some space for me in your life. Like you want me. Like I fucking matter to you.”

Of course in books like this(also, in movies about mafia) if someone is kidnapped – it’s always a kid or a mother/father of main character. And then, there is the fast cars, guns, other criminal families and run against the time to find kidnapped person before it is too late. Kinda classical, but still good. So after Mia goes missing, this books becomes a fast paced action book. I really liked to ”meet” all those different crime families – Greeks, Russians, siblings who don’t see eye to eye, old lovers etc. Because i was not feeling Nick and his big love to Peter, my focus went to Peter’s sister Olivia. That woman – damn, i loved that character. Strong, beautiful, with personality and guns. Running the legacy her and Peter’s father left behind. I think i will read the third book in these series just because i want to read about Olivia more. And Stavros was well written too – dark, very bad, addicted and addicting.

Overall, this was cool, fast paced book with pretty classical mafia book plot – someone get kidnapped, other needs to find that person etc. Yes, there is that romance thing but… that was not my focus this time(but i think that a lot of people will have different opinion and that’s okay). But it’s written well and i read it very fast. Also – love the cover.

Garrett Leigh ”Cash”

You can’t love ALL the books you read. It’s not possible. Even when it is your favorite author. I kinda hate myself for writing this, but i want to be honest. So… i’m sorry in advance for the things i will write in this post. Garrett Leigh is one of my all time favorite authors. I love so many of her books, but her newest book ”Cash”... was a miss for me. I will try to explain why. Of course there were some things that i liked and i will write about them too.

Cash is a car mechanic who is keeping a secret about his past. He also shares a house with Lucky and is his friend. One night, in a bar he meets Rae who is a hunt saboteur. They hook up and thy think that they will never meet again. Wrong. Few months later Rae ends up on Cash’s doorstep for a different reason. They are united by a cause which broke Cash in past. When Rae is in 100% in sabing and willing to die doing it but Cash has build himself a new life and isn’t jumping back into that life, is there any future for them?

First of all, i needed to google what is sabing and fox hunt because in my country – no one is doing that. There are regular hunt in season and hunters who do that, but not that kind of hunt and no one is trying to saboteur anything. As fas as i know(i’m not a hunter or any way related to that). But as i understood, fox hunt is a big problem in UK. So, author has chosen, as always, serious and real problem.

This book has more action scenes than in other Garrett Leigh books. I was okay with that for a while. But then, at one point i felt like all the focus on hunt, preparing for sabing and stuff, takes away from the main couple and chances for them to build any connection which is not related to lust or again, sabing. I missed them just being… them. Building connection, communicating and just spending time together. I did not need love story with sunset and beaches for 50 pages, but i wanted more relationship building(i think i’m just used to it, because in other Garrett Leigh books characters really spend time together and build that relationship and i as a reader can feel that it’s not just lust anymore) and less forest, mud and hunt. So at the end… i still got that feeling, that in this relationship sabing is first and then love. That’s why i loved Lucky and Dom as a couple more in this book than the real main couple. They were written well in their own book and continued to be great couple in the background in this book.

I think my biggest problem with this book was that i couldn’t connect with characters. And that was mainly because i just did not understand them. Am i pro fox hunt? No. Dear God, no. But would i give up my normal life in a comfy house, with food, job and everything, to live in the middle of some forest, in a car, without warm water and normal food but willing to die for a fox? Also no. I get activism and protests and wanting hunt to end, but this in my mind went past that line between activism and… something else, and when Rae was basically ready to die for one fox… i did not get it. In my mind it went kinda into ”really???” box. Maybe i’m just egoist. So this is not a case where the book itself is bad. No. This is the case where i just didn’t connect with characters and their logic and that is why i did not get emotionally involved(like i was in other books in past). I’m sorry.

But the good thing was, as i said – i loved Dom and Lucky. I already liked their original story in ”Lucky”, but here… i was so happy to meet them again. I really like their relationship. And i liked Cash. He was a good guy, who was hurt in past. I liked his friendship with Lucky and Dom. Unfortunately with Rae… i loved the name and the looks but that was basically all. I did not like his vibe, i did not connect with his logic and at one point i really did not like that pushy vibe and attitude he had towards Cash, when Cash was not immediately jumping back into sabing. Like when Cash said that he will help with resources and things but will not get into that lifestyle himself, Rae didn’t even care about the reasons why(or that Cash even has reasons why), he just reacted with bad attitude. And at the end Cash was the one who… ended up where he ended up. I was upset about it.

And i feel so bad writing this, because… it’s Garrett Leigh. I love her books and her characters. I think from all her books i’ve read in past, i did not connect with only three. But most of her books i love and one of them is haunting me(i got too emotional reading that one and year later i still remember it… still hurts to think about it). But i have to be honest. This was simply not for me. But i saw that other people really loved this book, so it is just me. Book itself is not bad. It touches an existing problem in UK to which even laws can’t destroy(and that is horrible) and writing style is good. So, if you don’t mind action and fighting for a cause and you don’t necessary need the focus to be on love story, check this out. It is different from her other books.

New Beginnings

Any day can be a new beginning. So, today i’m starting this blog. I’m a girl with bookshelf and love for reading. I’ve been a blogger for years. I have a blog in my native language(which is not English). Today i’m starting this blog – for my English reviews. I love reading and my mood is a one of the factors in my book choices. On this blog you will find posts about m/m books. But not only that. Sometimes about thrillers, history, chick-lit or fantasy :). Posts will be categorized in tags. If you are interested in any of this – great and i’m happy to see you there.

-N.